i just want to let you know that
you're the reason why i've waited this long
walking through my days in these past years alone with hope you'll finally have guts to let it all out
because i took the hints, i guess
even after all these years
that i know and you know
we invest(ed) in it for so long
it grew gradually
it took time
we've done it in silence
i did notice when you were gone
i still learnt about you even when you hid in your furthest hut
but i knew you still cared and watched me from your hidings trying to leave no mark
i knew you did
you were ghosting
one thing that don't let me sleep lately
something convinced me that it was all one sided
that you didn't have any intention at all
that i took it the wrong way
and i won't lie
just the thought of it makes me sad
the way you made me feel never fade away
i was fine without you
when you chose to be gone
because the dose was not as much as today's dose
i tried to find other pills
to fill the void inside
but you know what?
my heart told me you'd come back
and i have to be patient
my heart was right.
ever since i took the chance
it's getting harder and harder
this is the worst phase
i don't know what i have to do
it seems to be too awkward now
i could just ignore you but again i won't lie, i am still not ready to lose you again
maybe i wanted it more than i should be
maybe we've invested in a wrong dimension
maybe we should never let each other anyone in
maybe it's me who still holding on while you've been far enough left it all behind in those pretty mandarin lights
now you're gone for a hundred times and i really don't like me this way..
