This is my third year living in Jakarta. Started in 2011, I still remember how the scorching sun got beneath my skin. Haha. Jakarta.
Being able to live faraway from home, I think I am pretty good and secure. It's year 6th for me. Started pretty young, eh? I can't tell about others, but the way I see the world and how I perceive my surroundings, I'd say it's growing. The mindset. Choosing this, choosing that, doing this and that, going here and there, without asking my parents' permission is privilege of living alone and faraway from home.
I spent half of my teenage life as an young individual: setting my alarm to wake me up, buying my own breakfast-lunch-dinner, monthly groceries shopping, washing - ironing laundry, studying, strolling around the city as recreation, etc. Not fancy or something extravagant. But looking back, I started it so young and I still live. Haha!
Not a problem since I am a homebody and love no crowds.
Now that I almost turn 21 this July, I think it's safe to say, I ain't adjusting anymore. This is it. I love it. I am getting to know myself more in my own sanctuary. University life getting slow down. Only a few courses left. I don't know what the future holds. To be honest, I am kind of scared.
It got me that I've never wanted this since the beginning. I do well in school. So well. But after this uni life, I have no idea what I am going to do (that my parent would give support). I don't want to be a teacher, I don't want to. I can't. I know myself and I can't wake up at 4 am just to be in school at 6.30 am. I usually go to sleep at 4 am. Duh! *screaming internally*
I don't want to be an engineer. Life as engineer as a woman is a challenge for someone like me who doesn't like that kind of work load and working hours.
Is it going too much to ask if I can be myself and work as (art-related job)? It's gonna be tough life, I know, but I want to do that. That's what I want to do.
Almost 21 and conflicted.
Guess who is in the edge of doubt now? *sigh*
