Okay, we know this is not a new word. I want to talk about this.
Red Flags.
It's a danger signs. Sign to show us that something is no good, threatening, and we need to stop there. No more one step forward. Stop. S T O P.
Speaking about Red Flags, it's not only happen in romantic relationship, but also in other types of connections - friendship, family, colleague, school. Anywhere.
Okay, I am gonna narrow this to relationship, but it's pretty much has the same concept.
Have you ever liked someone that you got blinded by their wrong doings and took it as an OK?
An OKAY but you know your gut is trembling and uncomfortable. Deep down, you know it's NOT okay. But you say, "Ah, it's only that. They can change." or something denial like, "Ah, that's not how they are. It's impossible. They are a good person. They love me. Blablabla" Deep down, you know you just made it okay to you.
I found that one of "common" red flag is when someone you are talking to, they never post about their circle, life with friends, or even family. NOT EVEN ONCE. They usually just post some cryptic photos, or not really interesting posts. To top that, you've been talking to this person for years.
In this virtual worlds and not even once they share about it?!
Speaking about privacy and things, it's okay, that's a different matter. But you should put an alarm when there was never another body (no head/face shown) on their photos. And they post regularly. Like.. do you even have life?
All these years, the person actually have a significant other. I could tell they're in a long term one already. I was blown off by how well this person hide it. But I was more blown off about how this person's SO let this person never share anything about them. Sure their family know about them. The thing is, this person's SO have a regular post about them and not even once this person have interaction with the post.
Social media is free. If the account is not locked, it's not invasive, right?
The other thing is... dun dun dun dun
This person definitely is talking to a lot of chicks. HAHA
I am pretty sure this person's SO doesn't even know. I mean if this person's SO put that much trust to that kind of person.. kinda dumb, I think. Moreover, they are in a Long Distance Relationship. If this person's SO care about their relationship, she'd keep an eye to the posts that got an unusual interaction (in a ... hmm how to explain this, you can feel the closeness of the commenter and the poster).
Or are they in an open relationship?
I could say no firmly. Why? Hmm, it's too harsh to explain this here.
When you're interested with someone, it's better to check out their pattern. Not in stalking way. Just them posting regular posts and you keep in mind what kinda persona they want to show to the world. If you're smart enough, you'll get it. You know, pattern never lies.
Do you wanna know what other pattern I catch?
The way they untagged photos of them when their SO post about their togetherness. *yeet*
If someone tag you in a photo, the tag of your name will be still shown in the original photo even though you've untagged your social media handle.
I think universe got my back. As always.
It's funny.
If not scared, why would they untag it like it's not something worth to share? It's kind of disrespectful to the SO, I think. It's not only happen once. So yeah. It's became a habit. Red flag.
I ain't even assume anymore, this person is scared that the persona they created will be ruined. The persona as a single person (who is actually taken..and in a long term relationship) and getting their ego strokes by different chicks. Worse.
It's kind of ridiculous to think that this person is in LDR mode, and still looking for chicks who are not in the same area with where they live. What are you looking for? Oh yeah, I forgot, as said...ego strokes.
When you like someone, anything about them you see with your hearty eyes is amazing and lovable. Excuses. You don’t see red flags through rose tinted glasses. They all become pink flags.
Not setting boundaries is harmful. So harmful.
Don't let this kind of person fool you just because you like them so much.
Run!
Maybe you'll get to think, "Ah this is not they are. They can change."
It's okay to think this way.. ONCE. But if it's becoming repetitive and you are still in denial but kind of knowing that you're right too (listen to your gut feeling!), I think it's okay to let go.
Well, let's remember this:
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
And no, you can't change someone.
