Sunday, March 29, 2020

Pandemic

So here we go..
How long does it take?
The atmosphere is tensed
No one has been trying to go out

Everyone left, too
Looking for safe haven
I could hear fallen needle
Silence is scary

I've been friends with silence
Been a good friend
Is this gonna be another food for my solitude?
Been staying at home intentionally

Feels like this is not gonna be a short one..

Monday, March 09, 2020

Set it Free 🕊️

The last time I went through this
I was unsure either

I know I've seen the clearer pictures
The hints I saw scattered around
Yet I chose to ignore so I can be... optimistic

"The time will come."

A lot of questions stranded in the back of my mind
It's like a handful of sand
Looks quite small but contained a million sand just like my questions

"I need more time," I said to my inner self.
"Maybe it will change."
She gave me more time than I asked

All of these only leave a big hollow of hope
It hurts but windy and cold

This ain't gonna work
This ain't gonna go anywhere

How can a human be so selfish?
It's all about them
them and them only
Thinking the world revolves around them
Never truly care about anyone else
Using every souls
they can take advantage of
until the souls feel so drained

This is exhausting
This is tiring
This is intoxicating

If all of these are truly real,
I don't need to assume
I don't need to conclude by myself
I won't confused
They will let me know only
when the actions get along with the words

I can't trust anyone else right now
I feel like I don't know anyone else

And it made me so certain this time
that..

I've made up my mind
I've let that go and set my mind free
I won't ever think about it again

As of right now..
I just want to be under
a few layers of
my big thick warm blankets

I need some rest.

Jakarta, 9 March 2020.
4:38 am.

Blank Stare Kaoani Blank Stare Kaoani