I am slowly learning that I cannot control anything outside my body.
I am slowly learning how to accept all the chaos in my life,
accept that most people come and go.
I can't fight fate.
Some may stay to be my guide and friends for the rest of my life.
Some come and go to teach me how to be stronger.
Some people that suddenly came into my life either stay or just go.
Some come and go to give me some love just to remind me how it feels to be loved again.
Some come and go to let me know how it feels to be broken again,
to pick up every broken pieces,
or just simply leave it scattered all round.
A mess.
Some people give you space.
They share the warmest feeling even though little did I know
I was just for killing their time with.
Classic.
People come and go.
They either come clean or dirty.
I am slowly learning it's not my job to cleanse it.
I wouldn't ask them about their secret.
Secrets they've been hiding that growing to be a bigger barrier.
They come like nothing in their hands.
It's their right to share or keep it.
Honesty.
And the same person can come and go
And come..
And go..
And come..
Floating in my life.
Being a part of the mess I could not pick up and keep even though I've waited their presence for so long.
Some people just leave me there wondering
Did they ever want me in their life?
Did they just come to have fun?
Did they just... blablabla
Messing with my head.
Until I can't feel anything anymore.
Numb.
Sigh.
I am slowly learning that
The only thing I can control is myself.
How I react to all these mess.
I take things personal because I never would've done the same to you.
Because honey,
I don't play games.
But one thing for sure, I am so happy for your existence.
I am happy you came into my life
I am so happy for you
And your future
And every good things that will be coming into your days
I really am.
You made my 2017 so much better than I ever could imagine.
Do you realize that?
Thank you.
All the loves,
H.
